Considering Custody Shared?

The unequal treatment of fathers in divorce courts ended in the late 1970s. For over 150 years, the Tender Years Doctrine that prevailed in our legal system was rejected in favor of finding the parent best suited to care for the children of divorce. Dads demanded active participation in their children's lives. This eased the pain of loss in divorce for all. Kids did better when parents worked together for custody shared.

This arrangement can be called many things like joint custody, shared residential parenting, or shared custody. Men could begin to overcome the sense of loss in the divorce if they could have more contact with their kids. The kids benefitted from this inclusion as they now could have two loving parents to remain connected to, even if the household was not intact anymore.

Kids fare better in joint custody agreements than their sole custody counterparts. Experts agree that they have higher self esteems. Their elevated sense of overall competence expands when both parents are present.

Joint legal custody means that parents no longer have a marital partnership. They have a parenting partnership. This could lead to power struggles between two adults that could not live together. Parents with joint legal custody must communicate and cooperate at all times. The presiding judge will be vigilant on this matter before he or she makes a decision to grant joint legal custody.

Custody shared can make a man feel like a father instead of a money machine or second-class parent. However, one parent may try to dominate the decision making. Conflicts can jade the issues at hand and lose the effectiveness of this parenting plan.

The court is not likely to award joint legal custody if one parent is opposed or if there is evidence of physical abuse, drug, or alcohol abuse.

Shared physical custody means either the parents or the children travel from household to household. Children may live in the same house they always have and the parents move in and out at predetermined intervals. Another plan is for the kids to move in and out when parents live nearby.

Young children cannot handle joint physical custody because they normally have abandonment issues that are exacerbated by divorce. Each parent must trust that the other is going to be the hands on caregiver when the kids are with them. Parents must be able to talk regularly and decide to agree with regard to their children's needs. Most parents each have their own parenting style.

When considering custody shared, make sure it is in the best interests of the kids. Don't opt for it because of ulterior motives like child support reduction or elimination, adult time, or other selfish reasons.


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Lil Lyon is on fire for kids caught in the middle of family breakup.  She knows that they are the innocent victims of parental conflict. She started: 

                                       http://www.forchildcustody.com 

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